there

That is me
in the shower. See me staring
intently allowing the last
drops of squeeze
soap to cap each finger.

Each tip is decorated
with a milky drop.

I look funny squinting
as if I am trying to catch
a sound
beneath the pounding water.
I do, actually. Hear something.

Could be you. Could be the cat clicking
his teeth at a bird
he will not catch. Could
be.

My fingers look long
and graceful.

My glasses are on the counter. I
do not see clearly. That
is why my hand is so close
to my face.

I have been there for minutes
carefully creating the appropriate balance
between air
and soap in the tube
so it swirls steadily onto my finger
tip.

My usual checklist
is done
at this point.

The best places for this are as follows:

Watch me wring water out of my wet hair.
Its length is appropriate

so when I lean over you
in the dark
I am not like a boy. Sometimes
you laugh
and pull it into a tail.

But see? I am not in bed. I am
right here, I am in
the shower.

Notice my formality.
If I were speaking I would not
say “I would.” I would say
“I’d.” The lack of contractions
proves

the formality
the seriousness

of watching me shower.
That this has already happened.


If I were to write about me
I would write something else.

This is

the ________________ place for _______________.

I might write how I swing
my legs, trunk-like, over
the side of the bed in one motion
pivot on my backside and stand.

The best places for ___________ slash ___________ are as

follows:


When I get up I always pull the covers up
over whoever is left in bed.

But I don’t write about me.

Being in the shower
reminds me

reminds me of this: Some of my best questions
disappear down the drain.

A shower
is a very good place for this. Are you still
there?

Checklist: when was
the last time I cried?

how many people
would notice
that my nails

are ragged?

my garden is dripping

with weediness.

Being in the shower
reminds me of this          a very good place for this:

questions     crying               staring

intently

feeling            graceful          thinking

about splitting my shin
in half        that

the best places for __________ are as follows:

and

I am not petite and        would not
ride a carousel                        in a beautiful dress.

Even if your large hand
gripped my waist

showing everyone.

Want does not       remove me                 from this cold room

where you    cannot          take time to think.

Even this I need to see in little pieces
small bits: water     tile soap          bah    tulle

All my best quest

shuns disappear

down